seduce me with tickets to disney world
MY BROTHER JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND HE HAD A LIGHT BULB IN HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” AND HE GOES “I WAS HAVING A LIGHT SNACK” AND LEAVES I’M DONE
MY DAD JUST CAME IN WITH A LIGHT BULB TOO AND MY BROTHER SHOUTS “I ALREADY DID THAT JOKE” AND NOW MY DAD IS ANGRY AT MY BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY
Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defense. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
- i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
- most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
- im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
Ron Funches (via lazybookreviews)
I CAN’T EMPHASISE ENOUGH HOW ACCURATE THIS IS.
I will always reblog this.
— A History of Reading, Alberto Manguel (via williamshakespearethings)
when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died